I'm not sure how much of this I'm comfortable with sharing but here it goes... I've always been the one people come to when things go bad, I've put a lot of weight on my shoulders when it comes to my brother, my sister, my brother in-law, my husband, my mother. My mom knows this best out of everyone, but as much as she wants to tell me everything going on in her life, she can't tell me everything because she's all I'll do is worry. And part of me wants her to tell me everything, to confide in me, the other part knows she's right. Just like when my Grandma got sick, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, it took me a long time to realize, I couldn't change things. I can't be with everyone, every step of their day. I have to live my life, my way. This as always is easier said then done. I'm slowly learning this and maybe, just maybe by the time I'm 30, I'll get the hang of it. For now, my obsessive behavior is just another part of who I am. Recently, I heard this song and those of you who watch the show, knows where it came from, it may be kind of dorky, but I thought it fit me perfect. I always am the one who tries to fix people, I always tell my brother don't wear your heart on your sleeve, but I should practice what I preach. I was given a big heart, and a lot of times I wear where everyone can see it, sometimes it gets me in trouble. I don't know what will come of me posting this, maybe I will just get this off my chest. Who knows, but I thought I would share.
What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
