Somethings in life we can not change, somethings we can not predict, and most things we can not control. Everyone in their lives have made mistakes, done things they regret, and hurt people they did not mean to hurt. In every one's life journey we hope out of all of these faults, we come out stronger, wiser, and able to be more acceptable of things and people around us. In our many struggles in life, there are always people along the way that make an impact in our lives, change the way we think, and sometimes the course our life is going to take. In my life I have been very lucky and have surrounded my self by people who have changed my life for the better. I have chosen to become a better person, despite what I could have become. Yes there are things that I do regret, things that I wish I could change, things I wish I did not do, but I have come out stronger, wiser and I am able to be more understanding to those people around me who struggle with things I can relate to.
There is one person in my life who I can honestly say has impacted my life the most, and I hate to keep bringing this up but I feel the need to continue to write about this and continue to cope with my addiction. This person is my brother. My brother has struggled and is still struggling with addition, with his struggle I also struggle. Everyday I learn something new, I think I've seen and heard all that I can hear, then a new day comes and I am wrong. I know that my brother has made bad choices, has hurt many people along the way, has become a product of what we all did not want him be. But for those people who still think my brother is this person, I think these people should realize this is because you are close minded, do not have a heart to forgive. You have to remember that people do and can change, people can surprise you. Through all our struggles, I know he is not 100 percent better, but I do know one thing, he is trying, he is regretful for everything he has put not only his family, but his friends through.
For someone to sit there and still look down upon my brother or any person who has struggled with this horrible disease and are trying to get recover, brings me feelings I can not even describe. Feelings that I do not even want to accept, because I am not sure what will be done or said. All I know and all I can say, is that as of right now, I am proud of the obstacles my brother has over come. He has proved to me that he can do anything he puts his mind to, he can achieve his dreams if he tries. I do know that he has a lot more obstacles ahead of him and a lot more things to prove to me, to be able to gain my trust completely, but for the time being, I can't do much but be there for him.
To those people who are so closed minded to hold one judgement upon someone, I feel sorry for them. It shows that some people are still brought up to think that no one makes mistakes and that everyone is perfect. I feel sorry for these people, whose minds don't let them think freely, who are so controlled by society that they can not realize that there are good in people even if they have done bad things.
I just hope with the many years to come, I can show my son how to be a good person, how to see the good in people, even if they have chosen to do bad things in the past. Addiction is a disease that controls your mind and body. It creates you to do things you would not normally do when you are sober, it creates a monster inside of you that you did not know was there.
