I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive, I came to survive, to prosper, and to rise

I thought about you again today, the way you smiled, the way you smelt, even the way you laughed. Some days I wake up and it's easier to think about you then others, some days I wake up and all I can do is cry that you left my side. You were an angel on earth and you are an angel in heaven. I miss the days when I could pick up the phone and hear your voice and tell you something new that Jaidyn did that day. I miss the days when I could drive to your house and be embraced by your warm touch and be melted by your smile. I miss the days I could just look in your eyes and see how very proud you were of me and who I have become. I just miss you.

Grandma,
I write this letter to you, I want you to know that even though you left my side, you are still in my heart, my mind, my soul. Jaidyn will never be let to forget what a wonderful human being you were. You left our lives on the night of September 2, 2009, this a day I will never forget, I will never let it leave my mind. I remember the day that Jaidyn was born and how I could hear your voice in the hospital room. I remember how proud you were to hold your first born great grandson. I can remember how proud I was to have you there by my side and have you be able to watch him. I remember the days that led up to you leaving us. I couldn't sleep, all I remember is asking, praying that you could live and I could take your pain. I know you would not let this happen to me in million years but I didn't want to happen to you as much. There is a song that reminds me of you and the way you thought of all your grandchildren. Every time I hear it it makes me cry. You wanted us to win, to fight, to conquer and to thrive. You wanted us to win, to survive, to prosper and to rise.You wanted us to be everything we could be and more. So I write this today for you.

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly

I wish today it will rain all day
Maybe that will kinda make the pain go away
Trying to forgive you for abandoning me
Praying but I think I'm still an angel away
Angel away, yeah strange in a way
Maybe that is why I chase strangers away
They got their guns out aiming at me
But I become near when they aiming at me
Me, me, me against them
Me against enemies, me against friends
Somehow they both seem to become one
A sea full of sharks and they all see blood
They start coming and I start rising
Must be surprising, I'm just summising
Win, thrive, soar, higher, higher, higher
More fire

Everybody wanna try to box me in
Suffocating every time it locks me in
Paint they own pictures than they crop me in
But I will remain where the top begins
Cause I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can every be defined
I am not fly, I am levitation
I represent an entire generation
I hear the criticism loud and clear
That is how I know that the time is near
So we become alive in a time of fear
And I ain't got no motherf*cking time to spare
Cry my eyes out for days upon days
Such a heavy burden placed upon me
But when you go hard your nay's become yay's

I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
This is still just part of my new chapter in my life to let myself show my feelings. My grandmother was a big part of my life, she was the person who was able to watch my son when I had to go back to work for the first 18 months of his life. She was the person who could always bring a smile to my face no matter what. She was the person that no matter what I did, she would always love me and support me. My grandmother loved everyone that came into her life and made them feel like they were the only people in the room. I miss her every single day and every single day I think about her. She is now my angel.