A Little Piece of My Heart

Once again my addiction has gotten the best of me and addiction has plagued my family. As much as we try to put it in the back of our heads, it just can't be done. There is always something going through our head wondering and worrying. I know on our part it's something we can not control, but on the addicts side it's one of the most selfish acts I know of. I've come to realize this and realize as much as we try we can not control some one's life. We always will want the best for our loved ones and for our family, but sometimes the cards aren't laid out as we wish.

This last time addiction took a hold of my every thought, it took a piece of my heart along with it. I can't tell you how bad it hurt and still to do this day don't know the reason behind any of it. In the end though, I can say I'm extremely happy I got to spend the time I did with those I love. I can't say if it will be last time I will say bye to someone or say I love you to someone, but as long as I know I did and will continue to, I can't do anything else.

It's an awful disease that controls some one's every thought and resource and as much as we try to fix the person, we can't fix anything if they don't want to be fixed. I just hope that everyone knows that there is help out there and there are people who will support and love you, if you choose to take the path of recovery. I always tell people, if someone has asthma or diabetes would we not want them to get help? Addiction is the same thing, yes the person has a choice to pick up the needle, the pipe, the bottle of beer, but sometimes the addict in them takes control and they can't stop. Behind every addict there is a sad and lonely person and someone who needs help and doesn't know how to ask. You don't pick up the habit of numbing your feelings because you're happy with your life, you pick up the habit because you can't process the reality of a situation.

No matter the person who has this illness, it's often the loved one's who suffer the most. And it's always the children who play the silent victim. The best thing we can do for any person with this illness, as much as it pains us, is to let them hit rock bottom and let them come to us and say enough is enough, I need help.

I'm not a fan of 2pac but the lyrics in this song are pretty meaningful in a situation like this. I hope that someone in this situation gets help before it becomes to late.